Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Writing is my life's passion and I think I might suck at it.

Ever since I knew how to form words with a pen, writing has been the only thing that's stuck with me, as far as goals go. I've wanted to be so many things...a Spanish teacher, school counselor, social worker, web designer, hairstylist, TV camera-person, photographer...but writing never was a fad or an impulse with me.
However, I know it won't take me anywhere because I'm not very good. This is the reason I'm in college looking for a "day job."

I thought the story I was working on was going really well...until I put it away for a month or two and returned to it. I don't know whether to scrap the whole thing and start over, or just keep going? Help me decide...I'll put up a few pieces and the summary, and you tell me whether you would read it as a book. If I get enough positive feedback, I'll keep going.

The basic plot of the story revolves around an 18 year old girl named Ari Page, who was involuntarily institutionalized afer a close-call suicide attempt. After her release 6 months later, her father refuses to let her move back home, out of fear that something else might happen to tarnish his spot in his wealthy, overachieving family's reputation. Ari's parents secure her an apartment with help from government assistance, give her enough money just to get by, and let her fend for herself in a town known as "the Wasteland." (It's known
in the area for being rough and worn down.)

Ari's memory is hazy and unsure from the amount of pills, sedatives, and brainwashing that were forced upon her at the institution. She wakes up in the new apartment with just a basic idea of where she is. After spending days of doing nothing but reading young adult books and watching teen movies, she decides she needs to find "that one special best friend every girl in the movies has"...someone to help her pass the time until she can go to college
somewhere far away, where she can start over.

It happens by accident. After walking down to her old high school (and getting completely lost) to see if any of her old friends might remember her and offer to keep her company, Ari meets a loner named Jordan Dorrian, who soaks up any attention she gives him. Though Ari is wary at first, she accepts Jordan's offer of friendship and slowly begins to be accepted by him and his offbeat family.

Nearly everyone in Jordan's family suffers from some kind of condition, so they accept Ari for who she is, baggage and all. This is the first time in her life where she can remember feeling accepted. Suddenly, life is meaningful again...but it can't last. The summer has to end sometime, and her dream of moving far away will become a reality.
Does Ari think she's healed enough to face a new world by herself, or has she become too comfortable in this deepening friendship with a boy who, at any second, could bring every painful memory back?...wait and see. :)

(Here's some random pieces of the story. I don't write in chronological chapters. I write in chunks, then fill in the spaces later.)

***This is not a true story. Some of the story is based off real events, and some of the people are similar to real people, but it is FICTION. :)***

(in the prologue)
"I thought my emotions would become dull and stunted if I had no one to share them with. Instead, they intensified. When I found a movie on TV with a happy ending, I was ecstatic. When my popcorn burned in the microwave, I was furious. Trivial matters defined my life, only because I remembered nothing else."

(Meeting Jordan's parents)
Teresa Dorrian was the kind of woman one would imagine had been a goth in her younger years. She was dressed in all black, but nothing extreme - a blazer and flared dress pants. Even with heels, she was shorter than me. Her dark hair framed her face in thick, wild curls.
The man I assumed was her husband looked like her complete opposite. She was tiny, he was tall and bulky. He was as blonde and bright as she was dark. Even so, they made a good couple. They fit together.
Teresa stuck out her hand and smiled at me. "Hi there, I'm Jordan's mom."
"Umm...I'm--"
"I know who you are. My son has been talking about you for days."

(Ari talking with her mom)
"Mom. Give me some answers. I know you're not as busy or as broke as you say you are. Why can't I come home?"
I was answered with a long period of tense silence, like she was trying to make up an excuse. After a few deep breaths, she finally confessed, "I don't feel safe in my own home anymore, with you there. I keep thinking I'll come back from town and be greeted by a corpse hanging from the ceiling fan. You've tried to do yourself in one too many times, dear, and I would never be able to survive, myself, after seeing you succeed." There was another uncomfortable pause before she finished, "For now, you're better off on your own. And if I'm wrong, I pray to God there's somebody else around to pick up the pieces."

(One of Ari & Jordan's last moments together)
Our steps echoed as Jordan and I ran down the rusty hotel stairs. No one else was out at that hour. For the time being, the world was ours and we were alone in it. Even the parking lot was silent. Everything seemed louder and brighter, despite it being nearly midnight. There were no benches or chairs outside, so we sat on the softest patch of grass we could find. So close that we were almost touching, but not quite. My heart was pounding from the energy my medication couldn't control. In this exact moment, I understood why I woke up the morning after trying
to take my own life. I was meant to be here, with my best friend, watching the fireworks.

1 comment:

  1. It's one heck of a story! You MUST finish this!

    ReplyDelete