Mother's Day Emo Rant

I still don't hate holidays.
I love holidays, more than any other days out of the year
(except, perhaps, the last day of school and Black Friday...)
but I'm having a hard time with this one.
I can't exactly say my mom and I had any mother's day traditions...
in fact, for the last two years, I didn't even celebrate with her.
But a mother is more than someone you buy a card for and mention on Facebook once a year.
Today, more than any other day, I have to be reminded that I'm missing yet another part of my life that most people get to have. I can't help but be a little jealous. :(
She's been gone for exactly 6 months.
I wonder what she'd think of me now...
I fully admit she'd spaz at the sight of my apartment...she was always so much cleaner than me.
Like the rest of my family, she'd probably be opposed to me moving again, because she saw how homesick I got last time...but UNLIKE the rest of my family, she'd still help me if she knew it was what I really wanted.
(Then again, if she was here, would I feel like I had to leave? Because I don't have any support here?)
She would be so proud of me that I finished the semester with a 3.5
She'd love how far I've gotten with my story...
I don't get the sudden urge to call her anymore.
Sometimes I just pretend she never existed, because it's easier that way.
Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to say...
Happy Mother's Day...
I wish you were here...