Monday, December 5, 2011

Guyfails, fast food, and even more awkwardness.

?!?!
How is it possible that I haven't blogged in 4 days? I haven't even thought about it!
I didn't realize it at all until I got another e-mail from Blog-God asking where I disappeared off to.
I guess I've been distracted. Usually, when I spend a lot of time hanging out with people, I'm absolutely bouncing, waiting to get back home so I can blog about it and put funny quotes in a Facebook status.
This time, there's really not much to tell. I've been spending a lot of time with some new people and some old ones, hanging out in the UC and watching movies.
But since I have to blog about something to keep my stats up, yesterday was  an interesting day.
Start at the beginning: It was Sunday. Campus was dead. I had to do laundry in Jobe Hall, and I was so bored.
I sat by myself for a good half hour, being a good student and working on my speech paper.
Then Josh showed up.
Then Tyler showed up (Yay!).
Then Josh left. (-awkward twitch- Just the 2 of us? What do we talk about?!)
But it wasn't so bad. We watched TV for a couple hours and talked about My Little Pony. (That's his "thing." Long story.)
And William dropped in later asking for a ride to Taco Bell.
The walk to the truck was by far the most awkward thing that happened all weekend. Not because of anything my two friends did. I saw the guy I've been avoiding and his girlfriend was with him. I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I'm sure I made some kind of noise that made anyone in my close area turn around and stare. I was ready to explain myself when W. said he already knew. I know he was there on the night when all the bad stuff happened, but I didn't think he knew the specific people I was hiding from. Apparently they live in the same dorm hall, and he's more observant than I thought.
I immediately started to defend myself..."I know I should have forgiven him by now, or at least her, but---"
They both shut me up after that.
It was the first time since the Epic Night of Fail that someone actually took my side. Tyler said it doesn't matter one bit if #5 & I weren't "Facebook Official." If we had "the talk," and he still went behind my back to find this other girl, I have every right to never want to see his face again. W. just said I deserved better.
And both of them said they would never do that to me. Two weeks ago, seeing "those people" walking down the sidewalk together would have completely ruined my weekend. But this time, I was just mildly annoyed and I wanted food.
So the 3 of us went out to eat and it was so good. Though William riding in the back of the truck made me kinda uneasy. Isn't that illegal here? I kept waiting for him to fly out and land in a tree or something. And I almost got us lost...
I had another nice moment at the end of the night, shortly before I went home.
James's new roommate (#&@%) was talking to me about his role-playing game and personality traits (something confusing, anyway)...and I asked him what mine would be if I played the game. He said something about charisma and how I meet new people really easily. I said, "Oh no way, I repel people."
Then T. looked at me and with the most intensity I've ever heard in his voice (shy and awkward, remember?) he said "No. You don't." Well then. It was nice to find out he doesn't think I'm repulsive.
I'm not used to people saying good things about me. At least not to my face.
But this is why I think I've been spending so much time outside the BCM lately.
I saw "the guy" at Common Ground and spent the entire night stressed out and pacing. I couldn't tell anyone why I was so uncomfortable, because no one there thinks he did anything wrong.
When I hang out anywhere else, I have so many good things to think about that I don't stew on my bitterness as much.
And slowly, I start to feel better.

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