more awkward things I can't say in person.

(To the Awesome New Friend who isn't new anymore...)
Shawn, Tiffany, Ben, and Josh keep telling me to tell you my "awkward secret"...but I can't do it. And this is why...
I don't remember where you came from. You were just there. Even in the summer, James and Kyle talked about you a lot. They told me how cool you were. But when you moved back to town from Nashville, we hardly talked at all. Truth is, I was trying so hard to impress someone else.
And then...November happened. I think you were at lunch with Brianna 2 days after Kyle left (it really is a small world...), but I was in such a haze I don't remember anything clearly. We had to have talked a couple times, because I remember thinking how nice all of his friends were...and I had never noticed before.
That was Monday. Then, Thursday happened. ...That day when one of my closest "churchy" friends crushed my heart under his pretty gray Converse. I saw his new "status" and completely lost it. I also think you were there when I was begging Josh in tears to let me stay with him for the video game release. I knew I couldn't handle being alone that night. I wish we had met under better circumstances.
Thanks for talking to me that night, even though I'm sure Skyrim was much more interesting! I fell asleep and had a dream that we would get along really well. :)  I believe my dreams, because if the events in them are possible, they usually come true. (Seriously. I've dreamed of movie endings, story plots that get published later, layouts of towns I've never visited before...it's weird.)
And ever since then, we hang out a lot. I look forward to lunch even more than I used to. You get along with all my other friends on the days when you're brave & expand your social circle. I want things to stay this way! Our group gives me something to laugh about every day. I can't imagine losing that because I open my big mouth and say something I shouldn't. I know later today, we'll probably hang out again, and there won't be any awkwardness. I will give you your Christmas present, and hopefully you'll think it's awesome.
And since you don't have a Facebook and therefore can't get the link to my blog, you'll never know a thing. :)