Wednesday, February 22, 2012

friends - the good, the bad, and the missing.

Everyone has different kinds of friends in their life.
There are the ones you confess your secrets to, the ones who give you rides to church, the friends you envy, and the friends you feel bad for.The people who blow you off for fantasy games, and the ones who are there for you to hear you vent.
Some of them stay, and some of them go. 
And some friendships just don't last.
Most of the people I've met in Cookeville come into my life like an explosion. One day I had no idea of their existence, the next - we see each other everywhere. ...And they leave my life just as effortlessly. Nothing tragic (most of the time) - I find out they've deleted me on Facebook, or we just drift apart. Most of the time I don't dwell on it, because that's how all my relationships usually are - fast, intense, and short-lived. 
(Mike and I met at the beginning of the semester and we've stayed friends until now. This seems like a record for me. Almost two whole months with no conflict?)
And then there was my exception. An aquaintance who always floated along on the outer borders of my social circle...I didn't give him much thought because I was always pursuing the people who could give me a thrill - people who craved adventure, and "pretty" guys who could make or break my day by looking at me the right way. Stability? I didn't want stability...until I needed it.
Everyone already knows what happened.
This friendship could have fizzled out like the rest of them. I refused to give up this time.
We're getting to be much closer, despite the distance.
There's a certain kind of freedom that comes with talking through a phone rather than face to face. I have more time to type out what I want to say, so I don't stutter and fall all over myself. The words we say make sense. (Sometimes...)
You'd think any friendship that only had a month to build would crumble to pieces after such a blow. People know each other for years, and smaller things break them apart.
Two months have passed. That's one fourth of this temporary struggle.
I still get good night texts every night, and this person messages me first in the morning.
I am sad, but at the heart of the loneliness, I know I'm lucky.
Good friends need to exist more often.

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