It's February! While Kale is at home telling me about frost on the trees and snow drifts that haven't melted yet, I'm walking to school, complaining about the heat. No, it's not 80s or anything like that, obviously, but when I instinctively put on a sweater and have to drag it around all day...it's too hot for winter.
Oh, I'm not wishing it would be colder. I like warm weather, but it makes me feel so disoriented! I feel like it should be finals week, but I haven't even had a first test yet this semester! August feels so much closer than it really is...
I know summer will be here before I know it. The thought both thrills and terrifies me. Of course, my constant search of a void-filler will be over, but that also means I'll start my second-to-last year of school. I'll be half done.
I should be graduating this year. I'm so happy I'm not.
Sure, it's a little bit awkward knowing I'm two years older than the rest of my class, but it's better than the alternative -- hating my entire college experience because I wasn't mentally or socially ready to be living by myself without any help.
Because of swallowing my pride and finishing late...I have a chance. I just hope I don't screw it up. My first two and a half years have been littered with disappointments. I know no one's life is perfect, but I wouldn't mind having a little less loss in the next two years to come...
I think, in order to fully enjoy my last two years, I have to treat myself better.
If I cleaned my apartment, I could have more visitors, and even a roommate, leading to me not having to search for work in the summer.
If I exercised more and ate healthier, I'd look better, and more people would want to talk to me.
If I focus on my schoolwork more, I have the potential to get more scholarships, which could lead to stressing out my family less, and they would like me better too.
I try so hard to not be selfish -- to be available to everyone all at the same time...but while I wade through the dull routine that is winter semester, I think I need to set out more time for ME.
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"If I exercised more and ate healthier, I'd look better, and more people would want to talk to me." That statement is what society wants you to believe, in reality its not how you look or dress that should make people want to talk to you.(if it does then they aren't the people you should be talking to) In all honestly it is how you treat people which determines if they want to talk to you or hang out. If you ignore people or something equally bad then they will reflect that back. Basically treat others as you would want them to treat you. Do not blame things on about the way you look because you are a very pretty girl and shouldn't think otherwise. Focusing on some self healing and such is not bad though, sometimes we all just need time to ourselves, whether it be cleaning up, watching a movie, or playing a game. Try taking 10 mins or so out of your day for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm just going to say, Hullo! See any good movies lately? If not you should.. good news I'm going in to train at a job this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes :)
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