Sitting by myself at the B with no other options.

I am completely dissatisfied with my current social life, but I don't know how to fix it. That's not what the college experience is supposed to be about! I see the freshmen I met at the beginning of the semester, and they seem to have it all figured out...Of course, they found a solid group of friends within days of moving here...while I don't feel like there's a place for me to fit in anywhere.
I continuously try the BCM, but that's just a hit at my self-esteem. I drink. I swear. I come from a "broken family." ...I'm not good enough for them. They want people with G-rated lives. I've seen the leadership application. Plus, obviously, I'm not Baptist, and at Common Ground, when everyone is crying and waving their arms in gratitude to Jesus, this can be a problem.
The quieter, calmer UCSC is less intimidating, but people don't seem very receptive to newcomers. Especially since I'm not Church of Christ, either.
The Lutheran church doesn't even have a college group.
I royally suck at sports. Intramurals are out.
I researched Greek life a bit when I first got here, but I've heard that they don't look kindly on transfer students (or upperclassmen rushing), so I gave up there.
I rushed (and was accepted to) a community service sorority, but the girls there seemed to want nothing to do with me. I tried to be nice to them, but I think they already knew each other from before, and didn't have room for one more in their group.
I can never find the party crowd, but I can't really call myself that "type" since I definitely look down on sleeping around and illegal drugs.
Kyle & Tyler's friends don't really pay attention to me anymore. Why should they?
I can't leave town. My anxiety and lack of a car make that a sure thing.
Of course, Alex is great, but he still lives at home, so his parents can basically decide when he is able to go places with me. His friends are generally nice, but their entire lives revolve around one role-playing game. We have absolutely nothing in common.
I don't know where to turn. I wish I was one of those girls who was pretty enough to attract attention whenever I walked into a room. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so lonely.