I did a bad thing today. I skipped my broadcasting class. It was just easier not showing up and taking the zero for my daily assignment, than explaining in front of a room full of sorority girls that I couldn't watch the newscast we were assigned to analyze because I don't have a working TV or cable.
It's just so easy to be bitter. It seems like everywhere I turn, I'm reminded that I'm one of the "needy." Some of my friends are even poorer than I am. My heart aches for them...
I can't help but wonder why most of the people at this school have money to throw away on overpriced candy bars and Starbucks drinks, while some friends of mine eat once a day because they can't afford enough food for 3 meals. (Thankfully, I happen to find myself at least two meals on most days.)
Why do some people have designer rainboots, while other people wear dirty clothes because they can't afford laundry? (Or in my case, can't get a ride to DO laundry...)
Why do some people live in flawless rental houses and drive new cars, while others are worried about being homeless?
When "the void" isn't consuming me, this is the other part of my religious struggle.
I realize that some people work hard for what they have...but honestly. In college, it's near impossible to live the "privileged" lifestyle on minimum wage. Most of these people have their parents throwing iPhones and designer purses at them for every holiday...
So does that mean God has decided that they are better people, and in turn, deserving of luxury, or even comfort, while other people are not? Are there only a select few that are worthless enough to be forced to live in hunger, need, and desperation?
The broke and supposedly "hopeless" aren't there because they choose to be. It's all chalked up to bad luck.
Some have fallen into bad habits, but I don't entirely blame them. Some kind of loss or tragedy has created a hole in them that is big enough that they don't know any other ways to fill it up...
I wish I could help them, but I can't, because I am one of them.
I have it better than a select few, because I do eat every day, and I'm not homeless...but every time I walk across campus and see all the smartphones, Coach accessories, and professionally-done hairstyles, I can't help but wonder why?