Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I feel most at home in an empty house.

(For once, I won't write about you-know-who going you-know-where. I promise.)
Right now, I'm staying with Brett (an ex I am still friends with) and his roommate. I'm staying here until Saturday night, as far as I know. I was almost sad to leave my cousin's house, but I'm happy I'm here now. Megan's guest room bed is the most comfortable thing I've ever laid in outside of a hotel. And she leaves me alone when I want to be by myself. She lets me be hermit-like if I feel like it, which in turn, makes me like her more and talk more.
But anyway, now that I'm here, I've had fun. Of course I already anticipate being broke for the rest of the month after this week, but you only live once, right? And I'm hoping someone will finally reply to my roommate request and all my money problems will be solved...(I've decided to buy the cheaper convention tickets. That way I have a bit more financial freedom...unless something crazy happens and someone buys something I'll sell on Craigslist...)
I do spend a lot of time at the mall, but thankfully I haven't gone on any big splurges. I bought some earrings, a T-shirt, another pony to add to my collection, some new hair ties...Oh, and a keychain with a really offensive word written all over it. It makes me feel rebellious. XD
Besides hanging out with Brett, I went over to Dawn's apartment today and we watched My Little Pony movies. I had forgotten that she's a fan too. I brought over my figurines and she had was a nerd party! I was texting Tyler at the same time so we could bring another pony fan into the fun. Tomorrow she's going to Hot Topic so she can find a shirt like mine. It was so expensive, but I don't regret it...yet.
This city is filled with good distractions, but I'm smart enough to know I left for a reason. (Expenses...and half of my high school also lives here.) Just because people are being nice now, doesn't mean that living here while in college would be easy. I'm keeping my nostalgia at arm's length, so returning to Cookeville won't be any more painful. It's nice to know I am welcome to visit in the summer! I plan on staying for longer then, maybe a month? Oh, what a broke month that will be!
Going back to the "empty house"'s true. All I really want is to be alone and bury myself in my Hole of Sad, but maybe I need to fight against that...
At least while I'm here.
For the next few days, I am determined to talk to as many people as possible, and not say no to a single plan, unless it is expensive or would cause unneccessary panic.
So that way if I end up being lonely in Cookeville, at least I'll have good memories to keep me going until I can meet a new void-filler.

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